Go walk away.

You should be happy. You use to be happy. You use to be so happy last time this happened. But you are cautious now, even if she'll never hurt you. You have her, great. But for some reason you dont find yourself thinking positive still. You think about whats going to happen. You go out, you break up. No kisses or make ups. No more best friend. You think about the thousand different ways she could hurt you, because you know that you werent ever the one who moved on or changed your mind. You never had someone else. You had to deal with the pain, hurt, heartache. You had to deal with the aftermath of every single person you ever wanted. And now when the right girl comes along, theres nothing left to be happy about. You're preparing yourself to what is to come. She may be fixing your heart right now but you know nothing lasts forever. And though she might seem innocent, you know that the second you let yourself fall completely for her, he'll change her mind. Here is finally a girl you can love, a girl safe enough for you to fall for. But because of everyone else, you will never give her the chance. Please dont fall for me. Please. You have no idea how messed up i am. Walk away before its too late.

That feeling.

I miss the feeling liking someone. You know, the feeling where all you can think about is how you can make them happier. That feeling when you get a text and automatically hope its them and when its not, you're disappointed. That feeling when you just sit in front of the computer and wait for them to come online just so you can talk. That feeling when you go to sleep thinking of them, and hoping they're thinking of you. Yes, that feeling.

19 DEC 2012

So, here's my PMR result :) To my dad, mum, sis and bro. Thank you so much for all that y'all have done for me. This has been a difficult time for me, but without y'all in my life.Idk where I would be :D To my girls and boys, thanks for making me laugh when I'd almost forgotten how to. Thanks for who you're and always standing next to me. Im so grateful to have a friends like y'all ;) Thanks for being my friends! <3 And dear God, thank you for being there for me when nobody else was. Thank you for blessing me much more than I deserve. And thank you for everything! I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

Im to blind to trust.

Get over him. He's not even worth it. He's not worth your time or your tears. Yeah, you loved him. I know that. And I know you just cant see yourself w anyone other than him. I get that. I've been there. But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he's and who he's w. Do you honestly think he's thinking bout you? No. Sure its hurts, the fact that he's out there falling in and out of love w other girls. Yeah, you gonna see him w one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself, cause straight up, its gonna hurt. He'll hold her a little closer and squeeze her hand a little tighter, just cause he knows you're watching. He knows its killing you, thats why he'll do it. Dont let him get to you cause that, well thats exactly what he wants. Dont give him what he wants. He doesnt even deserve it. So what if he doesnt talk to you, do you honestly wanna be friends w that asshole like him anyways? Thing is, I know you still do. But give it time. Cause all he would do is talk bout his new girlfriend and just try and make you jealous. Do you really wanna hear that? No. Screw him and his new girlfriend. He'll be sorry. Trust me. When he finally sees you w some other guy who's not him. W that huge gruin on your face and you boyfriend holding you close, he'll realize how happy you're now. And how happy you boyfriend is cause he has you, the girl of his dreams. He'll realize the huge mistake he made when he let you go, when he decide to choose her over you. When he decided he just didnt love you the same. Trust me, he'll be sorry. And dont you sit there thinking he wont be sorry, I know you're. But I guarantee you now, he'll be sorry. So, dont go on spending your night waiting for that one phone call you know you never get. He like to pretend he doesnt see you online, he does it out of splite cause he knows its killing you. When he walks past you in the hallways he's gonna look past you, but you need to know he'll do that cause he knows somewhere inside you, it'll hurt. Im not gonna lie to you. It'll hurt, it'll hurt a lot. But, it'll hurt even more you see her name and how much he loves her in his profile. Its all gonna hurt. Knowing your not the girl thats him smile.Knowing your not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep. Knowing you wont be spending every single moment possible w him. Knowing there's not gonna be no more late night texting arguing bout who showing off the most. And you know what? Today, next week, next month, from now, your phone will go off w text messange. You'll instantly grap your phone hoping its him saying he wants to give your relationship another shot. But, trust me. He's got to much pride. Even he wanted to be back w you, he wouldnt tell you. Your soon gonna realize he doesnt care bout you anymore and he wont be the first person you text when you're upset. He wont be the one to put that smile back on your face. And yeah, its gonna hurt, its gonna hurt a lot. But you know what your gonna do? You're gonna hod your head up. You're goona show him you're better than him and you dont need him in your life. You're gonna prove to him that he made the biggest mistake of his life letting you go and that you never really needed him anyways.

Imperfect but perfectly me.

My body isnt perfect. I dont walk w confidence. I get into fights w my friends. Some night, I'd rather be by myself than out partying. I cry over the smallest things sometimes.There are days that I get through w forced smiles and fake laughs. Sometimes I try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not. Im not ugly and Im not beautiful. I dont look as good in real life as I do in pictures. There are some nights that I cry myself to sleep. I constantly think Im not good enough. Im imperfect but, Im perfectly me.

I miss these things

- Waking up early and running outside to play w my friends.
- Not caring what I looked like.
- Not caring if he woud like me.
- Getting dirty and coming home and taking a bubble bath.
- When swearing was a such bad thing.
- When there wasnt such a thing as a rumor.
- When getting in trouble at school was only because you wouldnt share your crayons.
- When we didnt spend 5 hours a day on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Blogger.
- When the only reason girls cried was when they got hurt or if someone died.
- Holding your mum hands while in the mall.
- When the only music we listened to was on Disney.
- When our parents would plan who we hung out w.
- When we did whatever we wanted w out being judged.
-When we didnt text all day.

*Chilhood.

Ironic

Isnt is ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us. Love the ones who hurt us and hurt the ones who love us.

I am blessed

I've seen better days, but I've also seen worse. I dont have everything that I want, but I do have all I need. I woke up w some aches and pain, but I woke up. My life may not be perfect, but I am blessed.

For you

He has the most adorable eyes you could ever fall for and the cutest smile that takes your breath away. He has the ability to make you laugh everytime he speaks and whenever  you look into his eyes, its so hard to turn away.

Dear you

I love you. I dont ask you to reciprocate the feeling. All I ask you is to respect what I feel. Because falling for you was never something I planned.

Dear God

Please help me to move on from my past. There are people and things I need to forget that are taking over my life. I know if I dont let go, they'll eat me alive. God, soothe my heart and calm my soul and teach me to live the life You've given me. Thank you for all the blessings You've given me.

Fall for them.

Why is it that we always fall for our bestfriend? Is it because we know we can trust them? Is it because we know them so well? Is it because of the way they know exactly? Whats going on in our heads? Or is it because they're there any day, anytime, anywhere without the promise of kisses or whipered sentiments of love? I think we love them because they're there when there's ntg in it for them except for that gummer of hope that maybe someday there will be.